School jokes 

Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil:
4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

Teacher: Who can tell me where
Hadrians Wall
is?
Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today
come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing
outside!

Teacher: Why
does the statue of liberty
stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I
lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best
teacher in
the school

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is
4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!

You answer the easy ones and leave us with
the hard one!

Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I
was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything
I
had

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it

remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to
see!

Why did the teacher put the
lights
on?
Because the class was so dim!

Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up
and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and
down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a
0!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes,
the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!

What was King Arthur's favourite
game?
Knights and crosses!

What kind of food do maths teachers
eat?
Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is
perfect.
If your a bug!

What's black and white all over and
difficult?
An exam paper!

Why aren't you doing very well in
history?
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I

was born!

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to

America?
On their feet!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is
your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the
mugger took everything
I had

Where did all the cuts and blood come
from?
The school went on a trip!

What's the worst thing you're likely to

find in the school cafeteria?
The food!