Heaven and hell jokes 

Why did the angel lose her job?

She had harp failure.

An angel in heaven was welcoming a new
arrival.
''How did you get here?'' he asked.
And the new angel
replied, ''Flu...''

How do angels greet each other?

They say, Halo.

What do you call the queue of Software

Engineers standing outside Heaven ?
The Y2K deadline !

St. Peter and Satan were having an
argument one day about
baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on
neutral grounds between a
select team from the heavenly host and
his own hand-picked boys. ''Very
well,'' said the gatekeeper of Heaven.
''But you realize, I hope, that
we've got all the good players and
the best coaches.'' ''I know, and
that's all right,'' Satan answered
unperturbed. ''We've got all the
umpires.''

A famous professor of surgery
died
and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the

gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?' 'Yes,' the

professor ansvered. 'When I was a young candidate at the hospital of

Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community
Hospital,
and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee
did not se it
so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.'
'Well,' said
the gatekeeper. 'That is a very minor sin. You may
enter.' 'Thank
you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor
ansvered. 'Im am not Saint
Peter,' said the gatekeeper. 'He is having
his lunchbreak. I am Saint
Lucas.'