Dog jokes 

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for

a cat ?
Cats can't drive !

What dog wears contact lenses ?
A cock-eyed
spaniel !

What is a dogs favourite flower ?
Anything in
your garden !

What's a dog favourite hobby ?
Collecting
fleas !

How many seasons are there in a dogs life
?
Just one, the moulting season !

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?
A
guard dog !

What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater
?
A plain clothes police dog !

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a

jelly ?
The collie wobbles !

Why is it called a ''litter'' of
puppies
?
Because they mess up the whole house !

How do you stop a dog smelling ?
Put a peg on
it's nose !

When does a dog go ''moo'' ?
When it is learning
a new language !

What kind of dog chases anything
red ?
A
bull dog !

What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an

Australian dog ?
Dingo Starr !

What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy

road ?
A mutt in a rut !

When is a black dog not a black dog ?
When
it's a greyhound !

What do you get if you cross a dog with a

blind mole ?
A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !

What do you call a black Eskimo dog ?
A dusky
husky !

What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off
of the
table ?
He gets splinters in his mouth !

What do you
call a litter of young dogs who
have come in from the snow ?
Slush puppies !

What do you call a dog with no legs ?
It
doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come !