Movie and TV jokes 

Fred: I'd love to be an
actress.

Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for?
Fred: Then you'd be
in a cast for weeks.

An actor went to see a new agent one day

and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is
innovative.'

So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few
times and
landed smoothly on the agent's desk.

`So you do
bird impressions,' said the agent, `what else can you
do?'

A bit-part actor finally got his first
leading role
in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off
a high diving
board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of
the board, looked
down and promptly climbed down
again.

`What's the matter?' asked the director.

`I can't jump from that
board!' said the actor. `Do you know there's
only one foot of
water in that pool?'

'Yes,' said the director. `We don't want
you to drown, you
know.'

What's the definition of a good actor?

Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself.

Why do actors like snooker
halls?
Because that's where they get their best cues.

Fred: I met a really
conceited actor
the other day.
Harry: Why do you say he's conceited?
Fred: Well,
every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he
went to the
window and took a bow.

Q:
How many movie directors does it
take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but he wants to do it
thirty-two times and when he's done
everyone thinks that his last
lightbulb was much better.

Why does an actor enjoy his work so
much?
Because it's all play.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a
film studio ?
Collie-wood !

Producer: Would you call your leading

lady ugly?
Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio
than on TV.

What sort of animals make the best TV
presenters ?
Gnus - readers !

What do you call a fight between film
actors ?
Star wars !

Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies

toilet ? To boldly go where no man has been before !

Why can't
anyone stay angry long
with an actress?
Because she always makes up.

What kind of star wears sunglasses?
A
movie star.

What is an Actor? A man who tries to be
everything but
himself