Newest jokes

A woman entered a psychiatrist's
consulting room
leadind a kangaroo.''I'm worried about my husband,
doctor, '' she said.
''He keeps thinking he's a kangaroo! ''

Why did the Easter Bunny have to
fire the
duck?
Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

What's the difference between
the Easter
Bunny and a silly monster ?
One's a hare-head and the other's an
air-head!

Albert arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, ''What is your IQ?'' to which the man answers, ''241.'' ''That is wonderful!,'' says Albert. ''We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss!'' Next Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, ''What is your IQ?'' to which the lady answers, ''144.'' ''That is great!,'' responds Albert. ''We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!'' Albert goes to another person and asks, ''What is your IQ?'' to which the man answers, ''51.'' Albert responds, ''How about them, Cowboys?''

Coach Bowden was talking to the newest player on the team.''It's fantastic the way you strike the line, dodge, tackle and weave through your opponents.''Luke was a shy fellow, but blurted out, ''I suppose it all comes from early training, sir. You see, my mom used to take me shopping with her on sale days.''

Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears?A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that ''no means no''?

Two storks are
sitting in their nest: a
father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is
crying and crying and
father stork is trying to calm him. ''Don't
worry, son. Your mother
will come back. She's only bringing people babies
and making them
happy.''

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job.
Mother and son are
sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and
mother is saying,
''Son, your father will be back as soon as
possible, but now he's
bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.''

A
few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has

been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and

the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby
stork says, ''No where. Just scaring the hell out of college

students!''

A college student in a philosophy class was

taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single
line which simply said: ''Is this a
question?'' - Discuss.


After a short time he wrote: ''If that is a question, then this is an

answer.''

The student received an ''A'' on the exam.

A
Boston brokerage house advertised for a ''young Harvard graduate or
the
equivalent.''

Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale
grad. He said, ''Do
you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part
time?''

What do you call an road construction
aardvark?
A tarredvark!

What do you call an aardvark astronaut?
A
starredvark!

What do you call a fight between film
actors ?
Star wars !

Three cowboys
of the world are sitting
around camp talking about how tough they were
and the tales kept
getting bigger and bigger.
The cowboy from Australia says, ''I wrestled a
200 pound crocodile and
may it cry like a baby.''

The Cowboy
from Brazil shakes his head and says, ''I killed a 400 pound
steer
with my bare hands.''

The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept
stirring the campfire with
his leg.

Q: Why
can't the bankrupt cowboy
complain?
A: He has got no beef.

Did you hear about the household appliance
that eats ants and records
TV shows?
It's the VCRdvard

What has six legs, two arms, four eyes and a

tail?
A man holding an aardvark.

What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A
Polaark!

Who has a long nose, wears a mask, and sits
tall in the
saddle?
The Lone Aardvark!

Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened tomention that he had gotten circumcised last week.''Can I see it?'' asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptlydropped his pants to show off his cock.''Oooh,'' squealed his friend, ''You look ten years younger!''

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers:''I can lick any man in the place!''The nearest customer looks him up and down,then says: ''Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this yourfirst time in a gay bar?''

What's a famous saying at a gay bar? May I push in your stool.Sent by Jeff