Newest jokes

If love is blind, why is Lingerie so

popular?

Why are there flotation devices under
plane seats instead of
parachutes?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow

get to work?

What does a dentist do on a
roller
coaster?...He braces himself

What did the dentist see at the
North
Pole?...A molar bear

What was the dentist doing in
Panama?...Looking
for the Root Canal

Where does the dentist get his gas?...At the

filling station

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing theletter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course,teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gavehim a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richarda rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.''In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy torecite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates -- many of themalready laughing at him -- then replied, ''Bob gave Dicka poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.The teacher held up a picture of a cat.''What animal is this?'' she asked. ''A cat!'' said Eddie.''Good job! Now, what is this animal?''''A dog!'' said Eddie.''Good! Now what animal is this?'' she asked, holding up a picture of aDeer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,''It's what your mom calls your dad.''''A horny bastard,'' called out Eddie.

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life scienceclassroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The questiondirected: ''Give four advantages of breast milk.'' What to write? Hesighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping forthe best:1. No need to boil.2. Cats can't steal it.3. Available whenever necessary.So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled,then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen,and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:4. Available in attractive containers.

What do you call a high-priced barber
shop?
A clip joint.

For what person do all men take off
their hats?
The barber.

If the Pilgrims came over on the
Mayflower, how did the
barbers arrive?
On clipper ships.

Who never gets his hair wet in the

shower? A bald man.

Karen: Have you noticed
that Daddy
is getting taller ?
Sharon: No, why ?
Karen: His head is sticking
through his hair.

George: Sam u wanna hear a jokeSam: sureGeorge: Womens Rights

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both women barely large enough to see over the dashboard. As they cruised along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went right on through.The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, ''I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.'' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, the light was red, and again they went right through.This time, the passenger was almost sure that the light had been red, but was also concerned that she might be seeing things. She was getting nervous, and decided to pay very close attention.At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red, and they went right through it. She turned to the other woman and said, ''Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!''Mildred turned to her and said, ''Oh my goodness! Am I driving?''

The big game hunter was showing his friends
his
hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on
the
floor he said, ''I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to
kill such a
magnificent beast, of course, but it was either him or
me.'' ''Well,''
said a guest, ''he certainly makes a much better rug than
you
would!''

Commissioned by
a zoo to bring them some
baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel
scheme to trap them -
his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a
particularly
vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he
explained to his
assistant, ''I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if
there are
any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the
dogs
will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them

up quite safely and put them in the sack.'' ''But what do I need the

gun for?'' asked the assisant. ''If I should fall out of the tree by

mistake, shoot the dog.''

Two men were out hunting when one of them saw

a rabbit. ''Quick,'' said the first, ''shoot it.'' ''I can't,'' said

the second. ''My gun isn't loaded.'' ''Well,'' said the first,'' you

know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn't.''