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|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents=> $ 1/100 = 1 centTake square root both side=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent Multiply both side by 10=> $1 = 10 cent

|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have:(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 - n(2n+1)Adding 1/4(2n+1)^2 to both sides yields:(n+1)^2 - (n+1)(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2 = n^2 - n(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2This may be written:[ (n+1) - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2 = [ n - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2Taking the square roots of both sides:(n+1) - 1/2(2n+1) = n - 1/2(2n+1)Add 1/2(2n+1) to both sides:n+1 = n

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

What's a toads favourite sweet ?
Lollihops
!

Two really
old guys decided they would go
out and try to play a round of
golf together. They get on the first
tee and the first old guy says to
the
second, ''My eyesight
isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball
for
me?''.
The
second guy says, ''Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit.''
So the first
old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns
to
his
buddy and says, ''Did you see it?''.
''Sure!'', says his
buddy.
''Where did it go?'', the first guy asks.
The second old man thinks for a
minute and says, ''I can't
remember.''

What's the best thing about turning
65?

No more calls from insurance salesmen.

A tiny but
dignified old lady was among a
group looking at an
art exhibition in a newly opened gallery.
Suddenly one
contemporary painting caught her eye.

''What on
earth,'' she inquired of the artist standing nearby, ''is
that?''

He
smiled condescendingly. ''That, my dear lady, is supposed
to be a
mother and her child.''

''Well, then,'' snapped the little old lady,
''why isn't
it?''

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker
quietly sat down
next to the grieving widow. ''How old was your
husband?'' he
asked.

''He was ninety-eight,'' she answered softly.
''Two years oder
than I am.''

''Really?'' the undertaker said.
''Hardly worth going home,
wouldn't you say?''

The 75 year old man and his young, knockout
wife
were
shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the
man's
oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous
blonde
bending over the counter to try on a necklace,
the friend asked ''How in
the hell did YOU land a wife
like that?'' The old man whispered back,
''Easy. I told her I was
90!''

While I was
waiting to see the dentist, a
woman came out of his inner office
smiling. Nodding to me, she
said, ''Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm
so glad to have found
a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and
understanding too.''
When seated in the dentist chair, I related the
incident to the
doctor. He laughed and explained, ''Oh, that was just my
Mother.''

What do you call a dentist in the army ?
A
drill sergeant !

What time is it when you have to go to the

dentist ?
Tooth Hurty !

|Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.''I was in that new restaurant across the street,'' said one. ''It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.'' ''Please,'' said the other roach frowning. ''Not while I'm eating!''

|Having detailed the concept of attitude control, there is another method which you may prefer. For reasons that will become apparent, it is recommended for those pilots whose airplanes have large, easily cleaned cabins. Known as the ''Cat and Duck Method'' of instrument flight, it has received much publicity and is considered to have a great deal of merit by those who have not tried it. No reports have been received from those who did try it, and none are expected. Pilots are invited to assess its merits objectively.Basic rules for the C&D Method of instrument flight are fairly well known and are extremely simple. Here's how it's done:1. Place a live cat on the cockpit floor; because a cat always remains upright. It can be used in lieu of a needle and ball. Merely watch to see which way the cat leans to determine if a wing is low and if so, which one.2. The duck is used for instrument approach and landing. Because of the fact that any sensible duck will refuse to fly under instrument conditions, it is only necessary to hurl your duck out of the plane and follow it to the ground.There are some limitations to the Cat and Duck Method, but by rigidly adhering to the following checklist, a degree of success will be achieved which will surely startle you, your passengers, and even an occasional tower operator.1. Get a wide-awake cat. Most cats do not want to stand up at all. It may be necessary to carry a large dog in the cockpit to keep the cat at attention.2. Make sure your cat is clean. Dirty cats will spend all their time washing. Trying to follow a washing cat usually results in a tight snap roll followed by an inverted spin.3. Use old cats only. Young cats have nine lives, but old, used-up cats with only one life left have just as much to lose as you do and will be more dependable.4. Beware of cowardly ducks. If the duck discovers that you are using the cat to stay upright, it will refuse to leave without the cat. Ducks are no better in IFR conditions than you are.5. Be sure the duck has good eyesight. Nearsighted ducks sometimes fail to realize that they are on the gauges and go flogging off in the nearest hill. Very nearsighted ducks will not realize that they have been thrown out and will descend to the ground in a sitting position. This maneuver is difficult to follow in an airplane.6. Use land-loving ducks. It is very discouraging to break out and find yourself on final for a rice paddy, particularly if there are duck hunters around. Duck hunters suffer from temporary insanity while sitting in freezing weather in the blinds and will shoot at anything that flies.7. Choose your duck carefully. It is easy to confuse ducks with geese because many water birds look alike. While they are very competent instrument flyers, geese seldom want to go in the same direction as you.Source:GSP Digest #279 September 16, 1990

|A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, ''I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.''Bartender: ''Yeah! Sure...go ahead.''Man: ''What covers a house?''Dog: ''Roof!''Man: ''How does sandpaper feel?''Dog: ''Rough!''Man: ''Who was the greatest ball player of all time?''Dog: ''Ruth!''Man: ''Pay up. I told you he could talk.''The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, ''or is the greatest player Mantle?''

|The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said ''No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly.'' ''OK,'' said the judge, ''then you want to live with your mother, right?'' ''No way!'' replied baby bear, ''She beats me worse than Papa bear does.'' The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. ''Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?'' asked the judge. ''Yes,'' answered baby bear, ''my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.'' ''You're sure she will treat you well and won't beat you?'' asked the judge. ''Oh definitely,'' said baby bear, ''the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody.''

|A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, ''I can see you, and so can Jesus!''Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.''I can see you, and so can Jesus!''The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, ''I can see you, and so can Jesus!''''So what,'' says the burglar, ''you're only a parrot!''To which the parrot replies, ''Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!''

|The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the cowboys play better on ''grass.'' The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new ''Honor System'', Yes your Honor, No your Honor. The Cowboys had a 12 and 5 season this year, 12 arrests, 5 convictions. The Cowboys knew they had to do something for their defense, so they hired a new defensive coordinator: Johnny CochranQ: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

|Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?A: A huddle. Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?A: The police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

|Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts: The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score. The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick. The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques. If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer. After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat. After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam. In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours. No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.