Newest jokes

What happened to the little frog who sat on

the telephone?
He grew up to be a bellhop!

What type of sense of humor does a dust

storm have?


-A very dry sense of humor

Why did the weather want
privacy?


-It was changing

Why do raindrops like lightning at
night?


-So they can see where they are going

What did the hurricane say to
the palm
tree?


-Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary
breeze

What did the lightning bolt say to the old oak

tree?


-Hang onto your bark, this will be no ordinary
spark

Where do children learn their ABC's ?
At
LMN-tary school !

Teacher : Tommy you try my patience !
Tommy:
No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it
!

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more Apple jokes

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Accountant jokes

What is a horses favourite TV show?

Neeeebours

What is a horses favourite kind of party?
A
stall ball.

What is a horse's favourite sport?
Stable
tennis!

What would you get if you crossed the Easter
Bunny
with a famous French general?
Napoleon Bunnyparte!

What is the Easter Bunny's favourite state

capital?
Albunny, New York!

A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying tothe Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: ''Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some verybad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this planewill be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island belowus that should be able to accommodate our landing. This islandappears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. Sothe odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to liveon the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of ourlives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island,whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, ''Esther, did we payour pledge to the Yeshiva yet?''''No Morris!'' she responded.Morris smiles, then asks, ''Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?''''Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!''Now Morris laughs.''One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our TempleBuilding Fund check this month?''''Oy Morris I forgot that one too!''Now Morris is practically choking with laughter.Esther asks Morris, ''So what are you smiling and laughing about?''Morris responds, ''They'll find us!!''

A man calls his mother in Florida. ''Mom, how are you?''''Not too good,''says the mother. ''I've been very weak.''The son says, ''Why are you so weak?''She says, ''Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.''The man says, ''That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?The mother answers, ''Because I didn't want my mouth to be filledwith food if you should call.''

Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?A: Facing Bloomingdales

What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.