A small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly
woman. He
approached her and asked, ''Mrs. Jones, do you know me?''
She responded, ''Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known
you
since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a
rising big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you.''
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he
pointed across
the room and asked, ''Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?''
She again replied, ''Why, yes I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him
for his parents. And he,too,
has been a real disappointment to
me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a
drinking problem. The man can't
build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one
of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I
know him.''
At
this point the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace,
''If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for
contempt within 5 minutes!''
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