Newest jokes

What's
black and white, stinks and
hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.

What's the definition of AIDS?Anally Injected Death Sentence.

How can u spot a tough Lesbian Bar?Even the pool tables don't have balls.

How did the footbal pitch end up as
triangle?
Somebody took a corner!

How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?

If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!

A new medical study has shown that a woman's breast-feeding isn't adversely affected by aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the class.

Titicons (.)(.) tiny tits (o) (o) regular tits ( O )( O ) big tits ( @ ) ( @ ) big harry tits ( ' ) ( ' ) perky tits {.} {.} shriveled tits ( , ) ( , ) drippy tits [ _ ] [ _ ] android tits ( # ) ( # ) Tysoned tits

There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.Q. Which one is the tallest?A. The blonde -- she is 18 years old!

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.The interviewer decides to start with the basics.'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers forabout 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!' The interviewer tries another straightforward oneto break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The young lady stands up and produces a measuringtape from her handbag. She then traps one endunder her foot and extends the tape to the top ofher head. She checks the measurement and announces,'Five foot two!' This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes forthe real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for ourrecords, your name please?' The blonde bobs her head from side to side for abouttwenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself,before replying, 'Mandy!' The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, sohe asks, 'Just out of curiosity, Miss. We can understandyour counting on your fingers to work out your age, andthe measuring tape for your height is obvious, but whatwere you doing when we asked you your name?' 'Ohh that!', replies the blonde, 'That's just me runningthrough 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....'

Why do blondes use so much shampoo? The instructions read: LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT

Part I: How do you keep a blond(e) busy? Give him/her a bag of M&Ms and ask her to alphabetize them. Part II: Why does that work? 'Does 3 come before E or between M and W?'

Which is the most dangerous animal in
the
Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper

How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale
Weigh Scales.

What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

A family of tortoises went into a cafe
for some ice
cream. They sat down and were about to start when
Father Tortoise said, ''I
think it's going to rain. Junior, will you
pop home and fetch my
umbrella?''

So off went junior for
Father's umbrella, but three days later he
still hadn't returned.

''I think, dear,'' said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, ''that we

had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts.''

And a
voice from the door said, ''If you do that I won't go.''

Yo mamma is so fat, her husband has to stand
up in
bed each morning to see if it's daylight.

yo mama is so stupid when
she asked me
what kind of jeans am i wearing i said Guess and she said
Levis.

Yo Mama soooo old she was wearing a Jesus
starter jacket!

Yo mama is so old that her bus pass is in

hieroglyphics!!

Yo mamas so fat she walked in front of the tv
and I
missed 3 commercials.