Newest jokes

What does it mean to come home to a man who'll

give you some love and tenderness?
You're in the wrong house.

Why don't women
work as long and as hard as
men in the office?
They do it right first time.

Q: What does a blonde answer to the question
''Are
you sexually active?''

A: ''No, I just lie there.''

Q: What do blonde's have against

condoms?

A: Their cheeks.

Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his
condom?

A: To keep the swelling down.

Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to
squeeze his
left testicle?

A: Because the road sign said
'Squeeze Left.'

Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and

then turn around and come home?

A: It took her that long to
discover that a 14 inch Viking was a
television.

Yo mamma so stupid she stopped at a stop sign

and waited for it to turn green.

Yo mama's so fat when she takes a bath she

fills the tub then turns on the water.

Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr
as a
beeper.

Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit
suicide by
jumping from the basement window.

Yo'moma so fat she jumped off the
Grand
Canon and got stuck

Doctor,
Doctor I'm scared of Father
Christmas
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of

Christmas I can't sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your
bed...you'll soon drop off!

Why did the dog say he was an
actor?
His
leg was in a cast.

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept
popping out
of bed all night!

Which dog tastes better when eaten?
A hot
dog.

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato
fell on
his head?
The tomato was in a can.

What is a mosquito's favourite sport
?
Skin-diving !

How do you know if you have a tough mosquito
?
You slap him and he slaps you back !