Telephone jokes 

What do you get if you cross a
telephone
with an iron?
A smooth operator!

What kind of music do phones love to hear?

A symphony

How that we are engaged I hope you'll give

me a ring.
Of course. What's your phone number ?

Why are there so many Johnson
in he
phone book?
They all have phones.

What do
you call the sound a ghost makes
when he calls you?
A phone moan.

How does a baboon make phone calls?
He
just monkeys around on the line!

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?

Collect!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a
birthday
celebration?
A party line!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a
birthday
celebration?
A party line!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a
mouthwash?
Tele-Scope.

A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of

a patient.
''Do you ever hear voices without being able to tell
who is speaking or
where the voices are coming from?'' asked the
psychiatrist.
''As a matter of fact, I do,'' said the patient.
''And
when does this happen?'' asked the psychiatrist.
''Oh,'' said the
patient, ''when I answer the telephone.''

When does a horse talk on the phone?

Whinny wants to!

How does a football player make phone calls?

On a touch-down phone.

How does a baritone make phone calls?

Song distance!

How can you tell if someone who's having a

temper tantrum is on the phone?
You get a tizzy signal!

What happened to the little frog who sat on

the telephone?
He grew up to be a bellhop!

How does a door chime answer the phone?

Bella?

How can you tell if someone who's just had

a perm is on the phone?
You get a frizzy signal!

How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?

They both have rings!

What did the answering machine say to the

telephone?
Take my word for it.