Blonds 

What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other,and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'mwinning here?'

What's a blonde's mating call? I think I'm drunk.

Q:How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking? A:When you look in the refridgorator and there's lipstick all over the pickles.

Q: Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator? A: Because The organe Juice said concentrate

What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car? Dual air bags!

A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.The brunette keeps saying, ''88, 88, 88...''The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.''What are you doing?''''I'm counting cars,''comes the rely. ''Want to help?''''Sure!'' says the blond. She walks out to the middle of thehighway to the brunette and starts saying ''88, 88, 88..''All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semidrives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walksdown the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, ''89, 89, 89...''Sent by Kellie

Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a bloody clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her.''That's a lovely car,'' said the mechanic. ''What seems to be the matter?Judi replied, ''Well, it just conked out I'm afraid.''''Let me have look.'' He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a cat again.''Thank goodness,'' she said. ''What was the matter?''''Simple really, just crap in the carburetor,'' he replied.Looking shocked she asked, ''Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?''

What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them!Sent by Sonia

Q: Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test? A: Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them!

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: '' OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.'' She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says ''It feels like semen.''The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says ''It smells like semen.'' The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, ''It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . .''

Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror, and said, ''Hmmm, this person looks familiar.''''Let me look.'' said the other one. So she handed her the compact.The second blonde looked in the mirror then turned to the first one.''You dumbass -- that's ME!

There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When theygot about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no ideaway use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swimto a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunettetries to swim to shore. She gets about five miles off theisland's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decidesthat she will try. She gets about have way and drowns. Nowrealizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too. Now sheswims for hours. She gets to where she can see the shore but sheis so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.Sent by Evan

What are the worst 3 years of a blondes life?The 1st grade.

What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates?A mobile sperm bank.

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into alumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office andsaid, ''We need some four-by-twos.''The clerk said, ''You mean two-by-fours, don't you?''The man said, ''I'll go check,'' and went back to the truck.He returned a minute later and said, ''Yeah, I meanttwo-by-fours.''''All right. How long do you need them?''The customer paused for a minute and said, ''I'd better gocheck.''After a while, the customer returned to the office and said,''A long time. We're gonna build a house.''

Two blondes were walking through the woods and theycame to some tracks. The first blonde said ''These look like deer tracks.'' The other said, ''No, they look like moose tracks.'' They argued and argued and were still arguing whenthe train hit them.

What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??Ho Ho HoSent by Adam

What is six inches long, has a bald head, anddrives blondes crazy? A hundred dollar bill.