Newest jokes

Who robs banks and squirts ink?

Billy the Squid.

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas

cake ?
Your teeth !

What do vampires put on their turkey at
Christmas ?
Grave-y !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The
turkey - he's always stuffed !

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?

Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool
and
feed them fish !

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to
the ball?
Glass flippers!

What did the baby dolphin do when he
didn't get his
way?
He whale-d

What to
you call a Russian flea ?
A
Moscow-ito !

How do you find where a flea has bitten you
?
Start from scratch !

If you have a referee in football, what do you
have
in bowls?
Cornflakes!

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer
space?
Because there is no atmosphere!

Q. How can you tell if a man
is happy?
A.
Who cares?

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host

What happened?
He turned out to be a big boar.

What did the mama pig say
to her bad little
piglet?
''Behave or Frankenswine will get you.''

What did the fat pig say when the farmer

dumped corn mash into the trough?
''I'm afraid that's all going to
waist.''

Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so

quickly?
They squealed on each other.

The kids are crazy about a new piglet
toy.
When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.

''Isn't the principal a
dummy!'' said a boy
to a girl.

''Say, do you know who I am?'' asked the
girl.
''No.''
''I'm the principal's daughter.''

''And do you know who I
am?'' asked the boy.
''No,'' she replied.
''Thank goodness!''

What is the difference between a flea and a
wolf
?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie
!