Skusil som zit bez sexu a bez alkoholu a musim sa priznat, ze to bola najhorsia hodina v mojom zivote!

Posledne slova trenera atletiky pred smrtou: Vsetky ostepy ku mne!

Uz 20 rokov som stavbyveduci a za tu dobu mi na hlavu nespadla ani jedna tehla. Slusne, ... a co staviate? Dialnice.

Nie sme zase az tak bezvyznamny stat, ako to niekedy vyzera. Akurat v piatok lezal stred tlakovej vyse nad nasim uzemim a ovplyvnovalo to pocasie v celej Europe!

Stoja dvaja dopravni policajti na kraji dediny, ked k nim obrovskou rychlostou leti starsi Favorit. Razne a jednoznacne auto zastavili. Vodic iba stiahol okienko a krici: Vy si tu stojite a na druhom konci dediny vam zrazili kolegu... Policajti bleskove sadli do svojho auta a rutili sa na druhy koniec dediny. A tam nasli na kraji cesty zrazeneho capa... Hodnostne vyssi policajt sa so zatatou pastou obrati na hodnostne nizsieho: Boha! Zapamatal si si aspon poznavaciu znacku toho kripla?!

Zo zaznamov americkeho velenia: Taktika pouzitia bojovych delfinov sa v pusti osvedcila iba ciastocne.

|A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.""You'll get your chance in court."" said the Desk Sergeant.""No, no no!"" said the man. ""I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!""

|Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.He said ""It's Al Gore. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations.""""Donations!"" I said, ""How much you got so far?""He said ""about ten gallons.""

|A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.""But officer,"" the man began, ""I can explain.""""Just be quiet,"" snapped the officer. ""I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.""""But, officer, I just wanted to say,"" ""And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!""A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, ""Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""""Don't count on it,"" answered the fellow in the cell. ""I'm the groom.""

|A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy's window and says, ""Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.""The man says, ""Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack.""""Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."" ""I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death.""""Well, then we need a urine sample.""""I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar.""""Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.""""I can't do that, officer.""""Why not?""""Because I'm too drunk to do that!""

Why was 6 afraid of 7?Because 7 8 9!

The problem with keeping an open mind is that all my ideas tend to fall out.