Brat si do sprchy dve flasticky? Ja teda nie! Vezmem si tam rovno celu basu (piva).

Chlapik zomrie a dostane sa do pekla. Ale na jeho velke prekvapenie uvidi nadhernu plaz, polonahe dievcata, ... Pri bare stoji muz s rozkami na hlave. Chlapik sa ho zacudovane pyta: Som tu spravne, mal som sa dostat do pekla, ale tu to vyzera ako v raji? To je v poriadku - odpoveda mu muz s rozkami na hlave Ja som Satan, si tu spravne, urob si pohodlie. Chlapik sa zabava a po par dnoch ho napadne, ze by mohol ist na prechadzku. Prechadza sa po plazi, ked sa zrazu pred nim objavi obrovsky mur, ktoreho koniec ani nie je vidiet. Chlapik najde v mure dieru, neodola a pozrie sa cez nu. Na druhej strane vidi ohen, trpiacich a kriciacich ludi, presne ako o tom pocul. Cely vystraseny ide za satanom: Co to je za mur, ktory som tam videl a co ma znamenat to na jeho druhej strane?!?! Ach, to su katoloci, oni to tak chcu.

Co neviete o Slovakoch: ...ked si ma Slovak vypit na zdravie do jednej nohy a potom do druhej, zvycajne sa sprava ako stonozka...

Kedy je najlepsia chvila na pouzitie kondomu? Pri kazdej len trochu vhodnej prilezitosti.

Pride romka do kostola a chce dat pokrstit dieta. Farar sa na dieta pozrie a spyta sa: "A nechcela by ste ho radsej obetovat?"

Dve asistentky sa zhovaraju. Aky je tvoj sef? - pyta sa jedna. Senzi chlap! Trochu uradujeme, trochu sa milujeme a tak to ide cely den. A tvoj? Aj moj je vynikos. Lenze mi sme tu zbytocnu byrokraciu uz davno odburali.

It's for my mother-in-law,"" explained the
mourner at
the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured
down at the
dog and said, ""My Doberman here killed
her.""

""Gee...That's terrible,"" commiserated the spectator. ""But...
Hmmmm...
Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?""

The
bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and

answered, ""Get in line.""

Once there was a millionaire, who collected
live
alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion.
The
millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day
he decides
to throw a huge party, and during the party he
announces, ""My dear
guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I
will give one
million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim
across this pool full
of alligators and emerge alive!""

As
soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large

splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and

screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as

though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the
other side
with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The
millionaire was
impressed.

He said, ""My boy that was incredible!
Fantastic! I didn't think it
could be done! Well I must keep
my end of the bargain. Do you want my
daughter or the one million
dollars?""

The guy says, ""Listen, I don't want your money, nor
do I want your
daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that
water!""

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided
to his
wife, ""I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated
on you
throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told
you I was
working late, I was with other women. And not just one
woman either, but
I've slept with dozens of them.""

His wife
looked at him calmly and said, ""Why do you think I gave you
the
poison?""

Sorry Texans....A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap. He returned tohis office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of hiscoyotes was caught in a trap.""How do you know it's one of our coyotes?"" asked the Oklahoma gamewarden.""Well,"" replied the Texas game warden, ""He's already chewed off threeof his legs and he's still trapped!""

Four Mexicans were in an open truck that had run into the lake.The twoin the front seat escaped unharmed, but the two in the back bed drowned -they couldn't get the tailgate open!

Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo?They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.