Bus jokes 

Did you say that you fell over fifty feet but
didn't
hurt yourself?
Yes - I was trying to get to the back of the
bus.

What do you call a bloke with a
bus on his
head?
Dead.

'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the
driver
before he closed the door.

'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I
get my clothes on.'

All the passengers in the bus turned
towards the door to look at the
woman. She got on with a bag full of
laundry.

Have you
heard that all the buses and trains
are stopping today?
No. Is there a strike?
No, they're stopping
to let the passengers off.

What have I got in
my hands?
A double
decker bus!
You looked!

Do buses and trains run on time?
Usually, yes.

No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the

tracks.

Conductor, this bus
was very slow!
Oh, I
expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off!

Conductor, do you stop
at the Savoy Hotel?

I should say not, on my salary!

Have you seen the bus website?
Yes - it's just
the ticket!

Which end of a bus is it best to get

off?
It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

What is the difference between a
bus driver
and a cold?
One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.

Janet: What's the
difference between a cake
and a school bus ?
Jill: I don't know.
Janet: I'm glad I didn't
send you to pick up my birthday cake !

Does this bus stop at the river?
If it
doesn't there'll be a very big splash.

What ''bus'' crossed
the ocean?
Columbus.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on
his head
?
The deceased !

Q: What is a bus ?
A: A bus is a vehicle that
runs twice as fast when you are after it as
when you are in it.

Why didn't anyone take the school bus to
school?
I wouldn't fit through the door.

Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a

bus driver.
Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.