Christmas Jokes 

What do vampires put on their turkey at
Christmas ?
Grave-y !

Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The
turkey - he's always stuffed !

What do you get hanging from Father

Christmas' roof?
Tired arms!

How do you make a slow reindeer fast
?
Don't feed it !

Father Christmas lost
his umbrella but
he didn't get wet! Why not?
Because it wasn't raining!

How to cats greet each other at

Christmas ?
''A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year'' !

Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It
was looking forward to Christmas!

What did Adam say on the day before
Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a
cricket
match?
Because they're both stopped by the rein.

What does Father Christmas
call that
reindeer with no eyes?
No-eyed-deer!

What do you have in December that you don't

have in any other month ?
The letter ''D'' !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he
gets
stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

Why couldn't the butterfly go to the
Chistmas ball ?
It was a moth ball !

How did the chickens dance at the Christmas

party ?
Chick to chick !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go
down ?
Stacks !

What do you call a letter sent up the
chimney
on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a

Christmas bell!
Just take these pills - and, if they don't work,
give me a ring!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the
Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with !

Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas
party ?
It was a scream !

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party
?
Fancy a bite ?