Bicycle jokes 

A math student who used to come to the

university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
''Where
did you get the bike from?'' his friends want to know. ''It's a
`thank
you' present'', he explains, ''from that freshman girl I've
been
tutoring. But the story is kind of weird...'' ''Tell us!'' ''Well'',
he
starts, ''yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that
she had
passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to
thank me in
person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her
bicycle. But when I had
let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes
off, lay down on my bed,
smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me
whatever you desire!'''
One of his friends remarks: ''You made a
really smart choice when you
took the bicycle.'' ''Yeah'', another friend
adds, ''just imagine how
silly you would have looked in a girl's
clothes - and they wouldn't have
fit you anyway!''

When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
When it
turns into a driveway.

Why can't a bicycle stand up by
itself?
Because it is two-tired (too tired).

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose
?
Bicycle petals !

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a

bicycle ?
Bike carbonate of soda !

What did the bicycle call its
dad?
Pop-cycle

Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because
they're
two-tired.

Which Elizabethan
sailor could stop bikes
?
Sir Francis Brake !